The beautiful waiting room

The Lord has finally brought me out of a waiting room and onto the mountaintop.  This has not been just a week, or month long waiting room.  It has been 4 years and there were times I thought it was never going to end.  The most beautiful lesson that I learned, was to praise Him, even when I am broken.  To worship His name, even when there is not a song left in me.  Did this lesson happen over night...no.  He waited for that perfect moment, when I had truly surrendered my whole, but broken, self to Him.  I have had numerous health problems over the years, but none compared to what I went through, these last 4 years.  The worst of it began around last October, with severe dizziness, migraines almost everyday, pressure as though my head was literally going to explode and fatigue through every fiber of my body.  I was broken.  I felt as though I was a prisoner in my own body.  Last Thursday was the final straw.  I had had enough.  I prayed one simple prayer, with only 6 words.  "Lord, not my will but Yours", but I meant every word.  Then the doors that opened up, were nothing short of a miracle.  Talk about everything falling in place, like only He can do it!!  Could this have happened without my praising Him?  It may have, it may not have.  Will there always be a physical healing every time that I have health issues?  No.  Sometimes the physical healing that takes place within someone, is through a physical death, and a heavenly healing.  We will never have a thorough, physical healing while here on Earth.  We will not have that perfect, healing until we are at the feet of our Lord.  He does not promise us no pain, heartache or suffering.  What He does promise us, is that, if we claim Him as our Lord and Savior, there will be a day that we will be made whole.  No more suffering, no more pain, no more heartache.  What a promise.
"Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen."
~Hebrews 11:1

What will you pass on?

Last night, as I was watching my oldest daughter sleep, I kept thinking to myself, "Am I a good mom?"  I know that every mom, at one time or another, has thought this to herself.  So many times, when I ask this question...I feel like I come up short.  At some point during the day, I may have blown it with my patience, or yelled instead of listening or put my chores in front of my time with my kids.  I pray everyday, for the strength to get through my day.  But then I have to think to myself, do I just want to get through?  Is that good enough?  The answer is a definite NO!  I think it is great to want to be the best mom I can be, but I think it is also good for my kids to see me struggle at times.  I want them to see that I cannot do this on my own, but with my Heavenly Father's strength.  I want them to know that it is okay to mess up, but to seek forgiveness when I am wrong.  I want them to know that they are loved, even when they are acting unlovable.  There is only One other that loves my kids more than I do, and that is the One that created them.  He has given them to me, and that is not a responsibility that I take lightly!  I know that I will always fall short, as a mom, because I am only human.  It is in those moments that when I do fail, that my kids will be watching closely.  They will see how I will respond and who I turn to when this happens.  When they see me turn to my Heavenly Father for strength and forgiveness, THAT is when I will be a great mom!  And that is what I hope to pass on!

Has it truly been almost a year since I last posted?  I still want to post on how to make, bake and cook homemade, but I have also been feeling like I need to use this as a tool to reach others about my Lord and Savior.  Our Sunday School class has brought such growth in to my life as well as my husband's life!  We are almost done with the book of Genesis and God has revealed so much to me in this book.  It is so beautiful how everything and I mean EVERYTHING is weaved together in the Bible.  It is not just a book telling us what to do or what not to do.  It is a tapestry, of faith, love, sacrifice and everything else that we need to better our lives with.  So, I hope you enjoy this journey of mine as I learn more and more of what God has in store for my life and my family's life.  May you have a beautiful and blessed day!